Vulnerability is the essence of connection

Despite the ease of online communication and connection, many people have never felt more alone in the world than they do now, especially since the pandemic.

Over the last few years we have experienced deep change and the people around you may no longer be around for a myriad of reasons. Simply meeting up or trying to pick up where we left off is no longer an option. Life has moved on.

There may be activities you once enjoyed that now you no longer have the enthusiasm and energy for. In person get-together’s that you don’t have time for. And along with the increase in hybrid working meaning you’re spending far more time alone. You cannot meet or chit-chat as freely with your colleagues at work and your family may be scattered across the globe.

There’s a recurrent theme I see and hear of repeatedly that relationships have stumbled and crumbled around us. Leaving the feeling of being disconnected, alone and isolated unable to openly share with others how you truly feel.

Prior to the pandemic I was a member of several networking groups, I’d zip in and out of Central London at least once a week, have regular one to one’s in person and enjoyed being a lady what lunches in some of the best venues in the city. But not anymore, those days are long gone. I choose not to go into London as now I prefer the quieter pace of life out of the city. And I am not as interested these days in ‘networking’ personally I want to connect with fewer people on a deeper level. But where do you find like-minded souls these days? It’s definitely become harder and our social circles seem to be getting smaller.

However, one of the fundamental aspects for our long-term mental and emotional health and well-being is human connection. This helps build and retain our self-confidence and self-esteem. Our relationships influence our well-being, when we feel part of a tribe we have a true sense of belonging and trust that we can show up as we really are.

In a world of algorithms, hashtags and followers know and understand the importance of real, authentic human connection.

Being online has given us the remarkable opportunity to connect with other people globally, yet it cannot replace being with someone else in the real world.

We cannot rely on a social media feed to know and understand how the people around us really are. A carefully curated reel isn’t going to portray the true story. Relying on WhatsApp as your only method of communication may be convenient, but it isn’t forging a real-time, real-life soul-to-soul connection.

There simply is no pill that can replace human connection. There is no pharmacy that can fill the need for compassionate interaction with others. The answer to human suffering is both within us and between us – Dr Joanne Caccitore.

How are you? How are you really?

People never know what is going on in our worlds unless we choose to tell them. I consciously choose not to share my life dramas online. There are a handful of friends in my inner circle and I experienced extreme loneliness and isolation especially following the loss of our baby Grace Rose. In times of grief you really find out who your friends are. You can read more about this within my book here.

If you’re struggling you’re not always easy to be around, or good up-lifting company therefore others may choose to avoid you or not want to bother you. But this is a time when you need connection the most.

And equally we just don’t know the whole story of what is happening with others behind the scenes if we don’t talk often. They may be struggling to cope with life with issues at work, or with a relationship breakdown, trying to navigate long-term health problems, taking care of their elderly parents, have children flying the nest or are dealing with a monumental mid-life crisis. Or in some cases bouncing between all of the above. Especially in mid-life when these kind of curve balls seem to arrive. One after another.

You never know unless you ask and check in.

If you’re wondering how someone is. Ask them. Connect. Pick up the phone. Leave a message. Check in. Show up. Be the person who makes contact, as the person who is suffering is unlikely to.

And if you need support, seek it out with someone you can trust. Accept help. No one will know how you really are unless you decide to share and be honest with them.

Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely. I enjoy solitude and my own company, but have come to understand that I also thrive being around others too. I know I need like-minded people to lift my spirits, help spark ideas, offer encouragement, support and to simply be there for each other as life unfolds in all it’s glory and drama. That’s what good friends and soul connections do.

My life started getting better when I stopped pouring into cups that didn’t pour into mine. Family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances included. I deserve people who show up for me too.

Now there feels that there is a greater shift towards re-connection. And I know transformation happens when people gather to connect on a deeper level, within themselves and others. I recently joined a new women’s circle online and there were 56 like-minded souls together simply to enjoy new moon rituals. Despite having never met before and being located all across the world, we quickly bonded, shared and felt able to be openly vulnerable with each other meaning we all felt less alone. It was uplifting and re-energising. I found myself paired up and newly acquainted with Ana, her in Virginia and me in London as she shared with me openly how her friendships and relationships have changed. Friendships she thought she’d always have, have suddenly ended. Leaving her shaken and alone. It was hard for her to let go. I resonated with this, especially as through-out my own life I have moved around a lot in terms of place and employment. Which means many of my own relationships have come to their natural end. I have learned to accept this and know eventually there will be new connections made with people I resonate with now.

People, jobs, places that are no longer in resonance will fall away.

It might feel jarring at first, it may feel lonely, you may feel more lonely than ever.

This is natural. It’s resonance.

Allow what needs to fall away to fall.

Eventually the new will come towards you.

It will all make sense.

Let energy do it’s thing. Get excited for the new.

As you create the most beautiful home within and around you.

Let the new you, meet you there.

That’s resonance.

When you feel deeply connected to yourself, you’ll find it easier to connect and resonate deeply with others.

Where focus goes energy goes

Inspiration and creativity quickly evaporates when it’s forgotten and neglected. It will not be forced on a whim, or squeezed into your day to be considered if or when you have a spare moment. I know inspiration doesn’t strike when I am tired. Stressed. Or pre-occupied. Nor when life admin or life in general takes over.

It doesn’t take much for inspiration and creativity to evaporate.

Especially when you realise you’ve been spending far too much of your valuable time and precious energy devoted to something that is absolutely no longer in alignment with who you are now or where you’re headed.

I realised the extent of this in my own life last week, I’d given four years to something that has exceeded it’s sell by date. My patience snapped and my inner warrior shouted ‘Enough of this’.

I’d made the decision I’d been grappling with for a while. Too long really. Wanting my next steps to appear before I’d leap. But no. I understood that for anything to change I’d have to make my move first, be willing to take the leap and only then would the next step appear.

My circumstances were no longer going to tolerate the intolerable and now was the time to act. So I did.

An old chapter is going to be over. Soon.

But what would I do next?

How would I fill the gap?

A week ago I honestly didn’t know.

One of the biggest realisations that came to light is that I felt anything but inspired. I felt depleted and drained and it dawned on me how little energy I had to tend to my soul cup or what lights me up for a long time. And so it was time for me and inspiration to get re-acquainted, as in order to keep the flame of inspiration burning you have to repeatedly feed it with ideas, visions, insights and encouragement.

When your soul cup is dry how do you begin to refill it?

Some people find it easy to manifest the life they want, they make it sound simple, easy and do-able. All you have to do is say what you desire. Focus on it some more and miracles appear, just like that.

For others it’s not quite as clear cut. We’re focused on our hopes and dreams, we believe we’re ready and open for things to fall in our laps. We’ve done the vision board, journaling and have beautiful affirmations ready to repeat before we write our morning pages. Just to get us in the right head space.

But despite all our best manifesting efforts life doesn’t bring us what we desire. We’re stuck. Swamped feeling maybe we didn’t try hard enough. Maybe we’re blocked and need to work on our clearing our chakras some more. Maybe this is our destiny and we’ll have to just lump it. This is what life intended and we can do absolutely nothing to change it.

I believed this. I believed that if things weren’t happening as quickly or seamlessly for me, as they appeared to be for others, then I must be doing something wrong. I must be on the wrong path or chasing something that wasn’t meant for me.

Here’s what I believe now. I believe that in this life school there will be times when we are stuck, we cannot envisage a more positive future or we feel so completely and utterly overwhelmed that we cannot make a decision over what to eat for dinner, let alone create an inspirational life plan to see us through for the next five years.

I also believe and know when I feel like this inspiration will return. Miracles and manifestations do happen. And they happen a lot quicker when we focus our valuable time and precious energy towards what we do desire, and give less attention on what we really have outgrown.

We may not always get what we want, maybe there’s a reason for this or maybe not. But I know we leak a lot of time and energy spinning our wheels with things we really don’t want anymore.

There’s so much power in realising you don’t have to do what you’ve always done.

As we reach the middle of the year, with the Summer Solstice fast approaching you may also be thinking what’s next?

How can you feel re-inspired and re-invigorated in the weeks and months ahead?

How can you remember what you truly desire, in your heart of hearts?

What always works a treat for me is seeing things visually, a powerful image and inspirational words remind me of what I am drawn towards. I choose to focus on what fills up my creative well and brings the spark of ideas into my consciousness again.

A vision board isn’t enough for me and so for the last seven years I’ve created my own vision book. This is a notebook that I start at the beginning of the calendar year and grows and evolves with me month-by-month. I fill it with my hopes, visions and dreams, reminders of what I intend to do and most importantly what I have actually accomplished. Because often we’re so forward focused we forget all the things we have done. The pages are also filled with welcome signs that let me know I am on the right path and of course visual images and quotes that speak to me in the moment. This book becomes a daily reminder of how I want to live my day and my life ahead.

Our souls do not speak human language. They communicate with us through symbols, metaphors, visions, words, deep feelings and everyday magic.

There’s something so comforting about re-visiting the things we know and love

My vision books have become a sacred space that keep me on track, remind me of what it is I desire and steer me towards the life I envisage. Whenever I need encouragement or a burst of inspiration it is there ready and waiting for me to remember to come back to myself and notice. Especially when I have drifted completely off course. I notice the little flickers of the new coming into existence.

The people, jobs and places that are no longer in resonance will fall away. The energy is no longer an effective match. Rather than cling on to the old or fight for something that isn’t in resonance. Let go. Let energy do it’s thing. Trust and get excited for the new. Meet yourself there.

Often we attempt to stay in the same place until we have the next steps clearly marked out in front of us, but life doesn’t always work like that. Like a game of chess you have to know when to make your move. Only then will the next step you need appear in front of you.

It may not be what you anticipated or envisaged. You may not feel ready. With your perceived safety net gone you’re leaping into the unknown.

Whatever happens next needs trust. In yourself and the powers that be – the universe, the divine whatever it is that makes life and miracles happen.

As for me a week on miraculously I’ve had time to adjust my sails, re-visiting the things I love such as spending time pottering in the garden, walking through the forest and diligently focusing on the places I want to explore, the hobbies that have been neglected and even writing my morning pages and journalling again. Remarkably this is something I stopped doing four years ago.

And my vision book is growing and evolving day-by-day with new hopes, dreams and goals. Now I have a little more space and energy opening up I am feeling re-inspired. The flame ready to burn brightly once more.

What lights a spark and inspires you?

Need more support coming back to yourself, take a look at the 1-1 Soul-to-Soul Sessions, available online now.

Hearing the call from deep within

As we move through life we are always evolving, shedding the old and embracing the new. Sometimes change is forced upon us. It may not be welcome. It may not be wanted. It may not be what you’d have chosen. But nevertheless change is inevitable. It’s life and no one is immune, especially at mid-life where we find ourselves at a significant turning point. Having to navigate our way forwards when so much is in flux in our minds, bodies and souls.

The wake up calls are plenty with health scares, job losses, financial worries, relationship breakdowns, caring for loved ones and grief, loss and bereavement everything and anything comes knocking on our door.

Yes as you reach mid-life everything can feel pretty overwhelming and you’re left adrift unsure what will come next or what to do for the best. Mentally and physically exhausted, life weary merely getting through the day as you lose sight of your hopes, dreams and yourself. Especially yourself.

As I too move through this transitional phase of my own life I am having many conversations with friends and loved ones, especially around menopause and retirement both life awakening transitions that require careful consideration, patience and plenty of healing.

We’re shedding old identities that no longer fit. Making decisions on what is no longer worthy of our precious time and energy or what we’re willing to accept and what we are absolutely done with. We really aren’t the same people we once were. We are different, changed on the cusp of transformation as we welcome in the new and grieve the old.

Instead of wanting more we want less. Simplicity. Slowness. Sanctuary.

Instead of hustle we want our freedom. Freedom to choose, roam and wander free from obligations and external expectations.

Instead of hurrying we want slow days and moments to be present. With ourselves and our loved ones.

There is no doubt that when you hear the call from deep within this becomes a beautiful time to get to know yourself better on a whole other level. There is no ignoring or denying ourselves any longer. Things have to change, but what and how?

When do you say enough is enough?

How do you know what you truly want?

How do you connect back in with yourself if you’ve lost sight of everything?

Intuition is our compass, but you may not have been taught to use your compass.

When you’re stressed and life busy it can be tricky to connect with your intuition and inner wisdom. Drowned out by a monkey mind and external chatter you simply cannot hear yourself think. We have to make multiple decisions on a daily basis, some are easy and some are crippling stopping us in our tracks.

From a young age we have been programmed to ignore our intuition and choose logic over instincts. Facts over insights. Always following the crowd instead of doing what feels right to us.

And if we repeatedly ignore our more intuitive insights we lose our compass, our internal navigation system that is constantly guiding us forwards. We stop trusting ourselves and our own judgement which instinctively knows what is best for us.

If past conditioning sits firmly in your mind, along with outdated beliefs that are way past their sell by date, they will all be having an impact on your emotions, feelings, behaviours and actions until you choose to pay attention and decide to break the cycle.

So if you find yourself at a crossroads or feel completely disconnected from yourself gift yourself some space and time for stillness, for healing and to just be with yourself and your thoughts and feelings.

You cannot move forwards if you don’t recognise where you are right now.

This is a daily practice, to establish pockets of time in your day to stop whatever it is you’re doing and be still. Even for five minutes.

Slow life down for a moment.

Come back to your breath.

Come back to your body.

Come back to yourself.

Make this time non-negotiable.

Because underneath the layers of noise and busyness you’ll unearth your inner voice, wisdom and compass.

When you’re still and quiet pay attention to what is said.

If you need guidance ask for it “Please show me the way my soul wants me to go”.

Choose to listen to the nudges of your soul’s wisdom, no matter how subtle or quiet, even if they make absolutely no sense in the moment.

This is your guidance moment to moment.

This is your inner compass leading the way.

This is how you calm down a frazzled nervous system and find some peace. Even if it is short lived.

Keep practicing and prioritising yourself.

It becomes easier the more you practice.

Needing answers – Ask for what you need.

Ask for healing, clarity, peace and wisdom.

Ask for abundance.

Ask for guidance, creativity, light and love.

Don’t be timid in your prayers or requests.

Be bold, be positive and gracious.

As everything you’re asking for is making its way to you.

And so it is.

When you know you JUST KNOW

And when you receive your answer and guidance, trust your inner knowing.

Don’t doubt, question or deliberate any longer.

You don’t need to think some more. Or talk about it endlessly. Or ask for others opinions that you don’t need.

The decision is made.

Then you act accordingly.

Allow things to change and unfold in good divine time.

The answers you seek lie in your inner sanctuary. The inner journey and contemplation shapes the path ahead. We may believe that the answers we seek are always outside of ourselves, that someone else makes the choice or holds the key to our lives and future happiness.

They don’t, you do.

Always come back to you.

Opening up to a trusted person can bring light to all situations

Sometimes you need some time just for you. To share your innermost thoughts and challenges with someone who will listen without judgement and gently guide you forwards, so that you can see an alternative perspective and give you the space and a sanctuary for you to hear yourself think and feel into what action you truly want to take in life. Need more support coming back to yourself, take a look at the 1-1 Soul-to-Soul Sessions, available online now.

Once in a lifetime

Earlier this week I sat glued to the TV screen watching the total eclipse footage as the moon passed and obscured the sun across the US. Many people being interviewed couldn’t contain their excitement in anticipation of this once in a lifetime experience. Total eclipse’s do happen approximately every eighteen months however they are not always visible on land, so this was a remarkable event to witness.

It wasn’t until the news reporter reminded us that there was a total eclipse in the UK back in August 1999, that I remembered I’d been there in person. This was a once in a lifetime event that had completely dropped from my once in a lifetime memory bank.

What an adventure

Casting my memory back to 1999 a friend and I ended up travelling for seven hours by car to Cornwall, it was her suggestion to go and I went along with it. She’d diligently booked a campsite and so with her car packed with a small tent, sleeping bags and limited supplies we’d decided to make a trip of it, see the eclipse and camp for a few days.

On our arrival it was pitch black dark, we were tired and weary after the long drive and hours sat in bumper to bumper traffic. Cornwall and Devon was going to be the best place to see totality. As it was so late we’d thought it best to try and sleep in the car and get some rest. We could explore in the morning.

The next day after a fitful night’s sleep we took in our surroundings and were aghast. The campsite was nothing more than a farmers field with a couple of filthy portaloos. This wasn’t what we had envisaged. There wasn’t anywhere else to stay nearby as due to the eclipse accommodation was in limited supply. So we pitched the tent and decided to make the best of it. This once in a lifetime trip wasn’t playing out as we’d hoped it would, but we still had the eclipse to look forward to.

11th August 1999

Eclipse day arrived. It had rained most of the night so we ditched the tent and tried to get some sleep again in the car. Looking out of the steamy car windows, it wasn’t looking good outside, we hoped it would brighten up for us to at least see something.

My friend had done her research and found us the perfect spot to see the eclipse, higher up in another field overlooking the Cornish harbour village Mevagissey. So we made our way there armed with our blanket, drinks and snacks making ourselves comfortable as we settled in awaiting the big moment. More and more people joined us on the hillside, the buzz and excitement growing by the minute.

If you remember as far back as 1999 and this remarkable event you will recall Cornwall and Devon was grey. Cloudy and miserable. The sun did not make an appearance. As we edged closer to totality our hopes were dashed. This once in a lifetime experience was going to be shrouded in cloud and mist.

How very British!

We took our special viewing glasses off. Desperately hoping for the sun to burn away the cloud and mist. It didn’t.

How very disappointing!

But as the minutes ticked by something eerie began to occur. The sky started to get darker. The air cooled and stilled. The birds stopped singing. There was a mysterious energy surrounding us, so much so that all that the crowds of people who moments ago were excitable and noisy fell silent.

We were all experiencing this once in a lifetime event together, it wasn’t turning out as we’d hoped but it was just as remarkable all the same. For the briefest of moments we were shrouded in darkness and stillness.

The exact time was 11.11am on the 11th day of the month. The numbers are significant, I know that now. With the repeated 1’s representing new beginnings, this was a message from the angels to stay on the right path, embrace opportunities and set clear intentions.

How did I forget this once in a lifetime moment until this week?

On our return from Cornwall, after ditching the wet wipes and enjoying a lovely hot shower at home, I made my way out to a local pub for a work colleagues leaving do.

Despite feeling tired and wired I am so glad I made the effort to go, because that work colleague unbeknownst to me was going to be my future husband. And here we are still together 24 years on, with last weekend being our anniversary of being together all these years. (He says it’s too long….! Hmmm).

Coming back to the total eclipse that occurred in the US, many reported a similar feeling of stillness, being in awe of the universe and noticing how wildlife and nature changed their behaviour during the eclipse too. We are all part of nature and this expansive universe together and I’d have loved to have been there in person to experience this phenomenon again. Only this time they had an exceptional beautiful, clear view.

Total eclipses are powerful energetically, not only for us humans but everything on this planet. Now all these years later I love learning more about stargazing and the universe, as well as the impact on us personally.

A new beginning

You may have felt the intensity of the energy around and within us shifting this week and noticed how here in the UK there were tidal surges and yet more wind and rain. It is a powerful time and the reset button has been pressed. We have a new beginning.

The eclipse will put you firmly back on your soul pathway and open up to a brand new life chapter. Ask for guidance, tune in and listen to your inner wisdom. Look out for the signs and notice the synchronicities. Wait and see what will unfold for you.

What once in a lifetime moments will you say yes to in the days, weeks and months ahead?

And more importantly how many of them will you remember?

This footage of the Total eclipse 1999 courtesy of the BBC News. Pretty much sums up our eclipse experience.

What lies beneath the surface?

We are fortunate to live among nature and wildlife, on our doorstep is a Site of Scientific Interest (SSSI) and our home is our sanctuary. A calm, restful spot where we can observe and notice the seasons. You could be fooled that you’re in the countryside, but in reality we’re just on the edge of West London in a frantic, fast-paced urban area.

This is the time of year where we’re supposed to feel festive, jolly and full of joy. But it seems this season is testing everybody’s patience.

Slow living, what slow living?

Venturing out by car means keeping your wits about you, you’re likely to hear a ‘get out of the way toot toot’ multiple times even though you’ve only traveled 100 yards. Someone will cut in front of you, just to get one car ahead. Or ignore the red lights as they’re King of the Road. Or drive right up your backside, flash their lights and toot some more so you’ll have to pick up the pace. Won’t you.

Then on foot, if you choose to walk you have to know the pavement is not your own. There are other pedestrians, kids on scooters and cyclists for you to consider. Add in the abundance of food delivery drivers on mopeds who will take you down if you dare to get in their way.

And our town centre is filled with short-fused far from festive people too. The endless queues. Bitterly cold weather. Lack of car parking spaces. Everything and everyone to test your patience to the max so you wish you’d just stayed indoors. But you don’t want to be indoors as your house is freezing and it’s too much money to put your heating on.

Is it any wonder there is a surge of anger, aggression and hostility that ramps up and rears it’s ugly head this time of year?

What’s really going on beneath the surface?

Why is there so much pent up anger?

What are we even angry about?

You can be joyfully going about your day and encounter someone else who isn’t quite as joyful.

Or you are looking forwards to being with your loved ones, friends or family and one member of the tribe sends an angry outburst your way.

Or you feel calm and centred, ready for work until you encounter a colleague’s dark mood which sends yours plummeting too with it.

It can take all of your energy not to lose your cool.

“Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no chaos, trouble or hard realities to deal with. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still mentally, emotionally and physically centred.” - Marcangel

The truth is we all have stuff going on. Big things and little keeping us awake at night. Sending our stress levels to spiral, especially this time of year. Whether it’s jobs, money, mortgages, health, relationships or isolation and loneliness. Being human is not always easy is it.

So if you are feeling a bit ratty and find yourself getting more and more worked up, take a moment to understand what is triggering this?

Become an Observer

Sometimes all you need to do is pause. Show yourself some kindness and compassion.

Be the Observer.

Watch, listen and observe what is going on in and around you.

From this place you can choose.

To respond, not react.

To come back to your centre and take a deeper breath.

To ask yourself to be clear on what is yours to carry, and what isn’t.

And simply to choose to go with the flow. Not battle against it.

From this vantage point, your own stress levels reduce, your mind is clearer and you realise not everything requires a response or reaction.

You’re free to get on with your day. Lighter and brighter.

It’s a daily practice.

You never truly know what is going on in someone else’s mind and life unless you ask them.

And if you’re on the receiving end try to notice and observe what may be going on for the other person.

More often than not it isn’t about us. It’s about them.

Maybe in this moment you can choose to observe or even ask them what’s going on in their world?

You may be surprised by their answer.

As often all we need is to be seen, heard and treated with some goodwill and kindness. And isn’t this what the festive season is really all about?

Good Karma

“What is my purpose in life?” I asked the void.

“What if I told you that you fulfilled it when you took an extra hour to talk to that kid about his life” said the voice.

“Or when you paid for that young couple in the restaurant? Or when you saved that dog in traffic? Or when you tied your fathers shoes for him?”

“Your problem is that you equate your purpose with goal based achievements. The Universe isn’t interested in your achievements, just your heart. When you choose to act out of kindness, compassion and love, you are aligned with your true purpose. No need to look any further”.

The rise of the feminine

Recently I’ve been talking a lot about the rise of the feminine. Bringing more ‘feminine energy’ into yourself and your life can be deemed soft, wishy washy, airy fairy, a pushover, head in the clouds and so on.

Yes the feminine is soft, calm, nurturing, compassionate, kind, supportive, empathetic and peaceful.

Yet she is also a warrior, full of fire, empowered, knowing, intuitive and anything but a pushover.

Within the feminine woman there is a firm and fierce power. She emits a powerful, embodied grounded energy that she is not to be messed with. She is respected and she knows to listen and trust herself more than anyone.

“The feminine energy is flowing and dynamic. Her moves cannot be predicted or explained with the rational mind. She is unrestricted by social norms because she doesn’t follow any rules other than guidance coming from her own heart. She embodies the frequency of that she wishes to experience and attracts this like a magnet. Nothing can resist her magnetizing nature. The feminine energy doesn’t need to get out into the world to get it. It comes her way. Contrary to the traditional opinions, the feminine energy is powerful. The feminine strength comes from her own soul” - Syliva Salow

It is a daily balancing practice to move through masculine and feminine energy, regardless of gender. This is feeling over thinking, being over doing, resting over pushing and intuition over logic.

We have spent thousands of years with the masculine in the driving seat. And look where we are.

So now bringing more of the feminine back into balance is required within and around us.

“This feminine fire is a primordial, elemental force that is powerful beyond our wildest imaginings. It is in fact power itself”. Teri Doglar

When you do embrace this energy everything changes within and around you. Your perspective. How you show up in the world. How you learn to take care of yourself. Your relationships deepen or fall apart. Your inner BS radar is firmly switched on. You do not tolerate being used or abused. You definitely don’t conform. And you feel more alive, more comfortable in your own skin and in tune with all your senses guiding you in every moment.

I could go on.

The fierce feminine is on the rise and she will not be silenced, suppressed or belittled anymore.

As Brene Brown says ‘soft front, firm back’.

Onwards as we rise. The inner flame 🔥 has been reignited.

Get your cosy on

It is a daily practice to tune in to our bodies, minds and souls. We have our own soulful weather system that is always changing and shifting. Based on our needs in the moment.

And yet this is often overlooked. When we feel tired we just keep on pushing harder. Until we’re at breaking point.

Despite the pushing endeavors, we instinctively know what we need, when we need it. Our inner guidance is always speaking to us. But we have to pause, notice and listen.

I’ve always had to learn to tend to what my body is trying to tell me. My health has suffered throughout the years with repeated misdiagnosis. But now in midlife I trust my own instincts more than ever before. I pay more careful attention and say no when I have to say no.

Having an autoimmune condition is tricky to manage at times, it is a delicate balance between being able to function optimally and the need to rest. So now I know what my body has endured I respect her all the more. She is my responsibility. And you are yours.

Despite the outer world being continuously focused on productivity and squeezing more in to our busy days, it takes practice to tune out and know when to surrender and tune back in to you to trust and follow your own rhythm.

Why are we programmed to ignore our own needs?

Don’t allow yourself to burnout before you take good care of yourself.

Deep rest is not a nicety. It is a necessity. So if you are feeling frazzled, worn down and worn out.

Stop.

Pause.

And ask yourself what you need right now?

This shifts your energy out of the masculine and back into the nurturing nature of the feminine. Our focus now is to shift the balance and turn inwards, as the veil between us and the Otherworld is thin. Our ancestors are close by and supporting us on our paths reminding us that slowing down and the darkness is nothing to be fearful of but to embrace.

As we move through this season towards winter follow nature’s lead. Slow down, release, rest and get your cosy on.

When the leaves fall the world is surrendering. Letting go of the pieces and parts that can no longer serve in a positive way. Trees hold strong to their core and survive the storms. But every good tree knows that as time goes by, the leaves will come back and we’ll get to start again.

Simple practices that help me navigate the darker months include switching my day around, so I can make the most of daylight as much as possible and get outside during the morning. Nourishing my body with seasonal heart warming foods and making delicious soups, fruit crumbles and using warming herbs and spices. Going to bed earlier and trying to do more of what I love especially when I can’t get outside in nature helps my mood.

And of course allowing myself the occasional ‘Lazy Day’ works wonders, nothing planned, no expectations, nowhere to be - just a whole day to myself where anything can happen.

Our purpose is to simply live - anything else that we choose to create around living is an added bonus.

If you’re feeling depleted and worn down create and establish your own seasonal rituals and rhythms.

Allow yourself to surrender. Gently move through what is there. Gift yourself the tenderness and rest you deserve. You’ll re-emerge when you’re ready.

Permission to rest and replenish

When you’re feeling low on energy, depleted, frazzled, tired and wired this your moment to say no.

No to scrolling on social media land.

No to external requests and demands that you simply don’t have time or energy for.

No to things you feel obliged to, or should, but really could do without right now.

And know this is your moment to say yes to you.

I’ve been talking about overwhelm a lot lately and what self care really means. And as I get older, and wiser I have learned that I have to protect and nurture my time and energy.

If I am exhausted, I am not much fun to be around, I am grumpy, cannot think straight and my creativity disappears as well as my enthusiasm for life overall.

When I am overstretched I ask myself what do I need?

How can I take care of myself today?

What do I need to let go of or say no to?

And wait for my inner voice to speak.

I listen and then act from here.

This takes the load off. The stress dissipates. I reassure myself that all is well. And make space and time to BE. This turns on the replenishment tap. And then I get on with my day.

So feeling overwhelmed and low?

Stop saying yes to everything else and start saying yes to you.

Say yes to making space in your day just for you.

Say yes to the rest you crave.

Say yes to what you need, as and when you need it. Moment by moment.

This is a daily practice, in a world of noise and productivity it can take time for you to realise that the biggest responsibility you have in life is to learn how to truly take, care of you. Body, mind and soul. Because really you are all you have.

Everything and everyone can wait as you replenish.

As the season shifts into autumn now is the time to take things slower, rest and replenish when you need to.

Nurture your mind, body and soul.

Take your time to rest, reflect, refuel and replenish.

Gift yourself a permission slip and say yes to you.

“Let the day unfold naturally and timelessly. Re-establish the balance in yourself. This is a chance not to be afraid of doing nothing. Your time is for you to be. To be alive and be at peace. ”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

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All will be revealed divinely guided

As you begin to BE more in mind, body and soul you learn to trust your intuition and the whispers within guiding you forwards.

At first what is revealed to you may make absolutely no sense.

It may take several nudges and spiritual signs before you pay full attention.

It may takes hours, days, weeks or even years.

It may take you down and bring about an enforced pause with illness or a life changing occurrence.

But what is meant to be discovered will come to you in full eventually.

Sometimes a situation or person just feels off. Trust what you feel and know all will be revealed in perfect divine time.

Why’s and what for’s will be answered. And then it’s up to you to take soul led action.

For me I am being led to learn more about ancient wisdom, rituals and practices. Seemingly out of nowhere a fascination with archeology and ancient sites has me intrigued.

Herbal and plant medicine has me growing more of my own herbs and potions for health and well-being. I am drawn to using more herbs and spices like a medicine woman.

Where has this ancient longing come from?

No idea.

Until now. Now I have a little more insight as more divine guidance is being revealed. Beckoning me forwards. Books appearing, conversations sparking, messages on socials just at the perfect moment. It’s all here waiting for me to follow the whispers and revealing a little bit more.

So what is being revealed to you?

Observe.

Notice.

Act.

All will be revealed. Divinely guided.

Stillness and solitude

As each year passes I have learned that in order to hear myself think, feel and be I need space and solitude.

This includes being online and social media. We are heavily caught up in the lives and thoughts of others, but what about yours? How do you think and feel, do you know?

There are times to tune in, and precious time to tune right out.

Not all the time, I am also a sociable being too and love to chat to other humans too….. But I know when the time comes for me to retreat. Mr M recognises the signs too.

I feel restless. A bit stroppy. And don’t want to talk. I need peace and quiet. Do you?

It might be for an hour or two.

It might be a whole day.

Or if I am really fortunate a bit longer.

Space and time don’t seem to come so easily to us these days do they?

So it is always good to include ourselves in the must do’s. We have a culture that doesn’t encourage lazy days or time out just for you.

When we get still.

We can hear.

Sense.

Feel.

Know.

Learn.

Understand.

Recharge.

Restore.

And then re-emerge.

Refreshed and ready for whatever is next.

We have our own inner guidance and wisdom that is always communicating with us, however this can be drowned out by others views and opinions.

Or we are trying to escape from ourselves and our inner voice by being relentlessly busy.

Learn to know when it’s time to deeply listen to yourself and the quiet voice within.

If you feel the urgency to speed up.

Slow yourself down.

Tune in to you.

Allow yourself to BE still.

For as long as it takes.

Your inner being will thank you for it.