We are fortunate to live among nature and wildlife, on our doorstep is a Site of Scientific Interest (SSSI) and our home is our sanctuary. A calm, restful spot where we can observe and notice the seasons. You could be fooled that you’re in the countryside, but in reality we’re just on the edge of West London in a frantic, fast-paced urban area.
This is the time of year where we’re supposed to feel festive, jolly and full of joy. But it seems this season is testing everybody’s patience.
Slow living, what slow living?
Venturing out by car means keeping your wits about you, you’re likely to hear a ‘get out of the way toot toot’ multiple times even though you’ve only traveled 100 yards. Someone will cut in front of you, just to get one car ahead. Or ignore the red lights as they’re King of the Road. Or drive right up your backside, flash their lights and toot some more so you’ll have to pick up the pace. Won’t you.
Then on foot, if you choose to walk you have to know the pavement is not your own. There are other pedestrians, kids on scooters and cyclists for you to consider. Add in the abundance of food delivery drivers on mopeds who will take you down if you dare to get in their way.
And our town centre is filled with short-fused far from festive people too. The endless queues. Bitterly cold weather. Lack of car parking spaces. Everything and everyone to test your patience to the max so you wish you’d just stayed indoors. But you don’t want to be indoors as your house is freezing and it’s too much money to put your heating on.
Is it any wonder there is a surge of anger, aggression and hostility that ramps up and rears it’s ugly head this time of year?
What’s really going on beneath the surface?
Why is there so much pent up anger?
What are we even angry about?
You can be joyfully going about your day and encounter someone else who isn’t quite as joyful.
Or you are looking forwards to being with your loved ones, friends or family and one member of the tribe sends an angry outburst your way.
Or you feel calm and centred, ready for work until you encounter a colleague’s dark mood which sends yours plummeting too with it.
It can take all of your energy not to lose your cool.
“Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no chaos, trouble or hard realities to deal with. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still mentally, emotionally and physically centred.” - Marcangel
The truth is we all have stuff going on. Big things and little keeping us awake at night. Sending our stress levels to spiral, especially this time of year. Whether it’s jobs, money, mortgages, health, relationships or isolation and loneliness. Being human is not always easy is it.
So if you are feeling a bit ratty and find yourself getting more and more worked up, take a moment to understand what is triggering this?
Become an Observer
Sometimes all you need to do is pause. Show yourself some kindness and compassion.
Be the Observer.
Watch, listen and observe what is going on in and around you.
From this place you can choose.
To respond, not react.
To come back to your centre and take a deeper breath.
To ask yourself to be clear on what is yours to carry, and what isn’t.
And simply to choose to go with the flow. Not battle against it.
From this vantage point, your own stress levels reduce, your mind is clearer and you realise not everything requires a response or reaction.
You’re free to get on with your day. Lighter and brighter.
It’s a daily practice.
You never truly know what is going on in someone else’s mind and life unless you ask them.
And if you’re on the receiving end try to notice and observe what may be going on for the other person.
More often than not it isn’t about us. It’s about them.
Maybe in this moment you can choose to observe or even ask them what’s going on in their world?
You may be surprised by their answer.
As often all we need is to be seen, heard and treated with some goodwill and kindness. And isn’t this what the festive season is really all about?
Good Karma
“What is my purpose in life?” I asked the void.
“What if I told you that you fulfilled it when you took an extra hour to talk to that kid about his life” said the voice.
“Or when you paid for that young couple in the restaurant? Or when you saved that dog in traffic? Or when you tied your fathers shoes for him?”
“Your problem is that you equate your purpose with goal based achievements. The Universe isn’t interested in your achievements, just your heart. When you choose to act out of kindness, compassion and love, you are aligned with your true purpose. No need to look any further”.