As I open the curtains clear blue sky and glorious sunshine greets me, since the lockdown began in the UK two months ago we’ve been fortunate to have experienced many days like this. As I venture outside my morning tea in hand, I wander around our garden in my pyjamas. No one can see me. There’s nobody else about. Even the dog walkers keep their distance these days. So I mooch around and see what has changed overnight. New buds have formed and my roses are coming in to bloom. Which seems a lot earlier this year thanks to the warm weather and sunshine.
All I can smell is cut grass, nature fills the air, it’s clean and fresh transporting me back to my childhood. The air used to smell like this all the time, long before the pollution kicked in.
Instead of planes continuously flying overhead now all I can hear is birdsong. All of my senses have been reawakened, the birds have become my new alarm clock and appear to be singing louder than ever. So much so when my husband and I are on phone calls or chatting on Zoom the person at the other end can hear their chorus too.
In the space of seven weeks all of our lives have changed irrevocably. Life has slowed to a snail’s pace as we remain indefinitely in lockdown. Which means we are also officially in “the void” the vast space between what came before and what is yet to come.
I’ve experienced being in the void before, it took a long time to move through it and rebuild my own “new normal” I really no longer like that phrase. But life feels anything but normal right now doesn’t it?
What feels different this time around is that I am not experiencing being in the void alone. We’re all in it together, globally and collectively living with uncertainty every single day. For now.
No doubt we’ll all have our own stories and experiences to tell but despite us being in this void together we are experiencing the effects of this pandemic in different ways. I saw a post online that said “We’re not in the same boat – we’re in the same storm” how true this is.
“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure , in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That is what this storm is all about. ”
For my husband and I life continues to move forward albeit at a slower and more simplified pace. We are fortunate to have each other, our Mogs Billy and Lola and the ducks Daphne and Donald keep us company. Soon we’ll be joined by ducklings as it appears Daphne duck is expecting anytime soon. And in the bird box in the garden a blue tit sits on her seven eggs carefully keeping them safe until they’re ready to hatch. Despite us being on lockdown Mother Nature definitely isn’t.
When we do venture outside our sanctuary and head to the supermarket I notice there is an abundance of wildflowers reclaiming the green spaces around us. It’s here you notice just how much life and our surroundings have already changed. The streets are quieter, we have to keep our distance, which some manage better than others.
A dose of creativity, fun and laughter
For the time being I have another very important role that is keeping me busy, going by the name “Mrs Mackerel” (no idea why!) helping to home school my niece Boo online. Every morning is class time with creative writing and sometimes French.
Her pre-requisite was that I make her classes fun, so I have tried my best. We’ve totally gone off the curriculum at times making YouTube videos and dancing to Black Lace – Agadoo which I am sure isn’t in the teaching remit. But a big fat dose of fun and laughter is a must for all of us right now I am sure.
We’ve also created her first journal, a special book called “Adventures in Lockdown” filled with all of her stories, activities, pictures and cuttings and inspiring quotes she shares with her class that she creates all by herself. She’s even written to the Prime Minister (her own idea not mine!) detailing her objections and solutions to the government’s lockdown plan from an eight year old perspective.
If I can teach her anything it is to reinforce that her voice always matters too. So we await the response from Number 10 Downing Street.
A dose of nature and gratitude
What helped me navigate the void before and continues to work it’s magic on my wellbeing and sanity now is being in the garden. When I feel anxious or my mind feels scattered I head outside.
This year it is different as I’ve been making do with what we already have and growing plants from seed; basil, chilli, cress and sunflower seeds were all I could get.
During one of our classes Boo and I discussed our favourite flowers, she decided to tear out a picture of sweet peas from a magazine for her journal. She asked me if we’d be able to get some, “Unlikely” I replied “Maybe next year”.
“As you wait for better days, don’t forget to enjoy today in case they’ve already started. ”
A few days ago our post lady, Marilyn, (I now know her name) knocked on the door with a small package for me. I opened it up and a card and a packet of seeds fell out “Turquoise Lagoon” sweet peas the same as the picture Boo now has in her journal.
Miraculously my sister had ordered Boo and I a packet of seeds each and in her card Boo said “Dear Auntie Mel, here are the same seeds as mine that you might like to grow too”. I was elated to receive such a precious gift especially as I’ve never attempted to grow sweet peas before, but now we could grow them together, even whilst living apart.
Maybe this is what is meant by the “new” normal bit? Finding immense gratitude for all the simple blessings in our lives and at the very top of our lists has to be love, continued health and happiness, in whatever shape or form it arrives.
May you stay strong, stay well and stay safe.
And never lose hope.
We cannot stay in this void forever.
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In loving memory
This red “Love” rose from our garden is dedicated to my dear friend Terry Gassett who sadly lost her husband Bill to the coronavirus.
Terry and Bill love roses too.
May you rest in peace Bill.